Iron Man 3 and The Incredibles parallels - 3/?
Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family.
are you canadian
That awkward moment when you ran up the stairs and now you’re trying to hide your heavy breathing like it’s no big deal but you’re actually pretty winded and dear god you need to work out.
what if rocks are actually soft but just tense up when we touch them?
How stoned are you right now?
Was that a fucking pun?
every time I listen to Florence + the Machine I turn into a literal meadow dwelling nymph who wears raindrops as hats and sunbathes on a lilypad
Things I Say While Driving
Me: What the fuck are you doing. What. The fuck. Are you doing.
Me: NICE BLINKER ASSHOLE.
Me: Why the FUCK are we not even going to speed limit. Why.
Me: I AM GOING TEN MILES PER HOUR OVER THE SPEED LIMIT WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT
Me: Shit is that a cop? No.
Me: Shit THAT is a cop.
Me: /dinosaur screams/

